Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–and Keep–Love

“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–and Keep–Love” is a book co-authored by psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller. Published in 2010, the book has enjoyed enduring popularity and recently resurfaced on bestseller lists, 11 years after its initial release, due to the rising interest in attachment theory on social media. This resurgence demonstrates the timeless value of the book’s content.

Core Content of the Book

“Attached” applies adult attachment theory to romantic relationships. The authors scientifically analyze how our attachment styles influence our romantic relationships and provide methods for building better connections.The book introduces three main attachment styles:

1. Anxious: Individuals who worry about relationships and fear abandonment, constantly seeking reassurance.
2. Avoidant: Those who desire love but remain emotionally distant in relationships.
3. Secure: People who are comfortable giving and receiving love, able to trust and be trusted.

The book explains that the type of care we received in childhood shapes our blueprint for love, influencing our behaviors and expectations as adults. This implies that our early experiences play a crucial role in forming adult relationships.

Authors’ Worldview and Values

Amir Levine, an associate professor of psychiatry at Columbia University, researches adolescent brain development and how environmental stimuli affect emotional and addictive outcomes in adulthood. His research focuses on how developmental experiences shape adult phenotypes, which likely informed his approach to explaining adult attachment theory in “Attached.”Rachel S. F. Heller, a psychologist working in both public and private practice, holds a master’s degree from Columbia University. She integrates attachment-based principles with cognitive-behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and experiential approaches to help children and adults. Her practical experience likely contributed to the actionable advice presented in the book.Both authors, drawing from scientific research and clinical experience, aim to demonstrate how attachment theory applies to our everyday relationships. They believe that understanding one’s attachment style can lead to more stable relationships.

Book Structure and Features

“Attached” explains attachment dynamics in romantic relationships through scientific research findings, clinical cases, and practical exercises. The authors show how understanding one’s own and one’s partner’s attachment styles can help overcome relationship difficulties, form secure attachments, and build satisfying relationships.The latter part of the book offers specific guidance on choosing compatible partners, managing attachment anxiety, and creating secure relationships. The authors argue that a secure relationship, rather than a secure partner, is key to a satisfying love life.

Reader Reactions

Many readers report gaining insight into their relationship patterns through this book. One reader stated, “This book really helped me understand why my relationships weren’t working the way I wanted them to.” Another mentioned, “Many of the testimonials I read in the book were so realistic I almost cried.”However, some critical opinions exist. For instance, some point out that the book presents traditional lifelong monogamous relationships as the ideal relationship model and shows bias towards secure attachment styles. Others note a relative lack of advice for those with avoidant attachment styles.

Conclusion

“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–and Keep–Love” is a practical guidebook applying attachment theory to romantic relationships. Combining scientific insights with practical advice, it can be a valuable resource for anyone seeking to improve their relationships and find lasting love.The book helps us understand how our attachment styles form and influence our relationships. Furthermore, it provides concrete methods for building healthier and more satisfying relationships based on this understanding.Ultimately, “Attached” is not just a book about romantic relationships, but about understanding ourselves and others, and how to create better connections. This can significantly contribute to improving our quality of life.